I have been working here in Dubai for the past four months now. I had to speak in English most of the time but I think my vocabulary is just going down it's lowest level. I'm gonna try typing down my thoughts and see how it works in writing.
So far, I always still feel homesick and the thought of going home never left me. I feel mostly pressured at work because I can see how I am not doing well. I've seen myself excel during my previous employment. Now I couldn't find the joy or excitement at work. Everyday it takes a lot of courage and convincing myself to get up before I finally drag myself out of bed to prepare for work. But then as I go along the day my heart is heavy and my mind confused. I couldn't blame the situation, or the people around me. It was my decision to come here, explore and have some adventure. I guess I underestimated the experience of being away from my family, and having to deal with people of different races. But if one would try to be optimistic, one can see that their can be so much good things in these kind of situations. It is in these times that you can learn so much about life, about yourself, and most importantly about what God can do for you and through you.
I feel like I'm just too lazy or too discouraged to be able to make a change in my current situation, or how I feel about it. But I also know that how I think or feel about it is a choice that is mine to make.
"How you think determines how you feel, and how you feel determines how you act."
I pray to you, Dear God, to please help me. I know that it is only You who can make a change in me. I cannot do it on my own. I would like to do my best and always be at my best at work. But my sinful flesh is always winning over my willing spirit. Please remind me always, and give me the strength to overcome my weakness in this situation. Please forgive for always wasting my time in social networking sites, to the point of neglecting my Bible reading and prayer time. Lord, help me be able to show a good testimony, being a Christian who happens to be an auditor here in UAE. How could I be able to win them and bring them to Your feet if I am always like this. Forgive me, Lord. I trust in You. I know that You love me and You care for me. You can hear my cries and feel my pain. I know that You can do something in me. Please have your control. Make me how You want me to be. I know the tough days are just about to come. Please help me to get through it not broken, but stronger and wiser than before. Teach me the lessons that you want me to learn. And make me a blessing to the people around me. Not only a blessing at church, but a blessing at work so I can bring to you Lord. All these things I pray to, O Heavenly Father, in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
